


Cooking Competition (With My Heart On The Line)

by digthewriter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Cooking, Cooking Show, Crack, Drunk Fic, F/M, Firewhiskey Fic, M/M, Multi, No Beta, Worst Cooks in America - Freeform, unbetaed, warnings, written while drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25815685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digthewriter/pseuds/digthewriter
Summary: Wizarding world has decided to host a reality TV show - and it's based on the popular show in America: "Worst Cooks in America." We bring you WWC: Worst Wizarding Cooks.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	Cooking Competition (With My Heart On The Line)

**Author's Note:**

> Drunk fic is drunk. This was written for "firewhiskey fest" where you drink alcohol and write a fic and don't make any corrections. So IDEK what this is - but just a fair warning that there's tons of ridiculousness is in here. This is a SLIGHTLY edited version but more or less - it's what was produced whilst inebriated. Don't expect anything super amazing. LOL. 
> 
> Challenge/Prompts used: ALL OF THEM. (SO PROUD) Neville Longbottom, Grimmauld Place, "There's only one bed", Devil's Snare, Blocked Floo. 
> 
> DRUNK NOTES: Is this on? So... what happened? I started writing my author's notes sober so it might be helfpufl. I think. Also is Worst Cooks in Ameica a popular show? IDk. i WATCH IT.
> 
> IDK why i started calling neville 'nevvy' it's annoying AF but i also couldn't stop. sorry. blame the vodka. Wizarding version of Michelin starred restaurants is COMET STARRED bc why not? As the story went on, it was very confusing to keep going back to my particpant list and see who was in the show. So I hope they're all eliminated in some sort of an order… I hope. Right?
> 
> Also, I have spent a LOT of my QUARANTINE watching Worst Cooks in America - like, no doubt. IDK why I thought this would be a fun concept to write. I'm up until 4 am tipsy writing this 6.5k fic, lol.

Neville didn't know what he'd signed up for. He had stupidly followed his cock into the conversation. They were in Grimmauld place and as he stared at Blaise Zabini sitting across from him, he agreed to it all.

***************************

"The show is going to be called _Worst Wizarding Cooks_." Zabini said. His arm was wrapped around Ginny and Neville was just so jealous. He wanted that. He wanted Blaise's arm wrapped around his shoulder too. But also Ginny's. He didn't want to TAKE Zabini away from Ginny, no, no, no, he wanted to be a part of it. Or well, more with Blaise than with Ginny but if they were together — that would be OK too, he thought.

"What's it about?" Ginny asked, crossing her legs and snuggling up to Blaise. She looked at Neville and smiled and Neville immediately had blushed and had looked away. "I think Neville would make a great contestant." 

"How do you know I'll be good if you don't know what the show is about." 

"Well… it's about cooking and wizards AND the words WORST are in it. I think that means that's all you right? You're not like Harry who can cook all the time and really really well. I mean, I would get so fat if we were still together —" 

"You know I don't like it when you start talking about fucking Potter again." 

"Well, we never fuck—" 

"Why am I being mentioned?" Harry walked into the room with a tray of food and bottles of wine trailed after him in mid-air. As he sat the plate down (no…) As he put the plate down… as he placed the plate on the table, he grabbed the wine bottles and started to pout everyone a glass. 

"Your new wizarding show. Now that they're experimenting with television shows in the wizarding world… and copying things that Muggles do… _Worst Cooks in America_ is a popular show that they now have _Worst Cooks in Britain_ , and _Worst Cooks in France_... so it only makes sense to introduce that in the wizarding world. Cooking without magic." 

Harry laughed as he sat next to Neville and rested his hand on Neville's knee. Neville looked down at Harry's hand confused but didn't say anything. When he looked up both Blaise and Ginny were glaring at him. 

Neville didn't understand. "So why would I be on this show? I don't know anything about Muggle television or cooking." 

"Harry and Malfoy are the hosts for the first season," said Blaise. 

Harry groaned. "I wish I could revoke my submission to be host." 

"Malfoy?" Neville asked. "He can cook?" 

"Malfoy owns five _COMET STAR_ restaurants across Wizarding Britain." Harry rolled his eyes and sighed. He took his hand away from Neville's knee and reached for a glass of wine. "Evidently that makes him an expert and MY competition." 

"Come on, I think it'll be fun, right? What do you say, Nevvy?" Blaise asked leaning closer towards the table and getting a glass of wine. When it looked like no one was paying him any attention, Blaise winked at him. 

"Nevvy?" 

"Oh, that's cute. You boys have a nickname already…" Ginny said. 

"what?" Neville asked, confused, and then Harry's hand was back on Neville's knee, and Ginny started to cough. 

"Malfoy's a fucking wanker," Harry said. 

"Hey, that's my friend," Blaise said. "besides, I think two of you in a friendly competition will be good. I know it'll certainly clear _his_ blocked Floo." 

"You own a restaurant too Harry and you have your own catering business. You wrote three cookbooks in the last five years," Neville tried to console Harry who seemed very upset about being compared to Malfoy. Malfoy was always just around. He was never physically in the room with Harry but he was just always IN THE ROOM with Harry, you know? 

Yeah, Neville did know. 

But he still didn't understand why Neville needed to be on the show. About cooking. He hated cooking. 

He liked his plants and he liked his life talking to those plants. He often ate at whatever pub his friends were meeting in and then to burn that off, he went running every morning. But being at those pubs is what had got him in trouble. He knew Ginny was dating Blaise but Blaise was just so charming, and cute, and so … majestic. He dominated every conversation he was a part of and he always touched Neville's shoulder when they talked. He made Neville feel like he was the only important person in the room and Neville didn't know when he'd started to fall for the bloke. And it was all sorts of terrible news because Blaise was Ginny's boyfriend! 

"Wow, Neville, I didn't know you cared so much!" Harry turned to Neville and gave him a huge smile. He took Neville's hand in his and then placed it on Harry's heart. "You're such a wonderful friend." 

"Harry, can I talk to you?" Ginny stood up abruptly, giving Neville a start and then dragged Harry out of the room. 

Neville took a sip of his wine. He didn't know why Ginny was so cross with him and why was Blaise OK with her grabbing Harry like that? Weren't they just talking about Blaise being jealous of Harry and Ginny? 

"So will you do the show?" Blaise asked, he came over next to Neville and sat next to him.

"Show? What show?" Neville asked, feeling Blaise's heat next to his body. He started to pull away but Blaise grabbed Neville's hands and pulled him closer.

"Don't pull away, Nevvy." 

"My name is Neville." 

"I know." 

"Okay. So it's Neville." 

Blaise rubbed Neville's hands together and then brought them close to his lips and kissed the top of Neville's fingers. "But I want to call you Nevvy? Can I? It can be only my nickname for you." 

"What about Ginny?" 

"What about her? She already has a nickname. And I call her something else in bed." 

"oh…" Neville said, feeling disappointed. 

"But… maybe if you do the show. I mean, you don't have to do the show but it would be a huge favour for me and maybe I could come see you on the set. Would you like that? We could be alone sometime." Blaise kissed Neville's hands again and Neville gasped when he started to suck on one of them. 

"If I don't do the show will you stop doing this?" 

Blaise looked at Neville and gave him a soft smile. "No. I would do this either way." He let go of Neville's hands and began rubbing Neville's knees. Slowly his hands reached up Neville's thighs and started rubbing there. 

"But, sweet Nevvy— I would reward you _so much_ if you were there. You're a celebrity too and the show is starting off as Worst Wizarding Cooks CELEBRITY EDITION and then if it's popular we'll have other wizards come and learn to become chefs."

***************************

WORST WIZARDING COOKS.   
TWO TOP CHEFS COMPETE IN A HEAD-TO-HEAD BATTLE AS THEY COACH SOME OF THE WORST COOKS IN THE WIZARDING WORLD IN BASIC CUISINE AND ONLY ONE COOK SURVIVES!!!!

Top Chef: Potter, Harry  
Top Chef: Malfoy, Draco  
Top Food Critic: Weasley, Ron  
Producer: Zabini, Blaise  
Creative Director: Parkinson, Pansy  
Dignity Coach: Granger, Hermione  
Narrator: Jordan, Lee

Neville walked into the set of WWC with 9 other people. They were all told to dress in black from head to toe and were going to get their aprons upon arrival. With 10 people starting the show, the premise seemed to be simple. Each team was going to have five people each. Each week, one person from each team was going to be eliminated until the last week when one cook would be crowned the winner. The goal was simple, take the instructions, and replicate the chef's dish. He had no idea what he was walking into that first day. 

He should have known it wouldn't be so simple. After all, it was Chef Potter vs. Chef Malfoy. 

No one would survive. 

*

His companions on the show were Oliver Wood (who can only manage beans and toast and Percy is really sick of it), Fleur Dealcour (Bill might like raw steak but the rest of the family doesn't), Luna Lovegood (might needs more to cook with than the ingredients no one else can see), Seamus Finnigan (Dean's a good cook but Seamus wants to be able use leverage more than sex in this relationship), Gilderoy Lockhart (he's seemed to have forgot everything), Viktor Krum (Mr I am good at everything and I am here for the dignity), Marietta Edgecombe (they don't send her to Azkaban for siding with Dolores, they send her to BOOT CAMP), Rolanda (there's more than flying to life, so they tell me, Hooch), Astoria Greengrass (they told her that if she learns to cook like him, she might just win his heart). 

DAY ONE: BOOT CAMP. 

_Good morning wizards! Today's challenge is very easy…_

_HUSH OFF, POTTER… I'm to deliver the opening line! Welcome everyone! Today's challenge is for you to show us what you're capable of. Make us a dish that replicates what HOME means to you…!_

"It was supposed to be my line, Malfoy." 

"I changed the script. Don't you know, Potter?" 

-

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Viktor Krum: Today's challenge is very easy. I am sure I can crush it like the way I crush my enemies in the battle of Quidditch. I am going to make a very famous Bavarian dish Obazda. I ask for Camembert, they DO NOT HAVE Camembert so I take out my wand—

*behind the scene director* magic isn't allowed on the set. 

Viktor Krum: YES YES YES so they were very keen to tell me. I ask Longbottom for help and I get told NO. I cannot talk with my colleague. Can you believe? But I ask Astoria, very pretty lady by the way, and she helps me. She tells me to use another cheese that can be made soft. She seems to know more than I know. I am thinking she's not the worst wizarding cook. You know? 

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Astoria Greengrass: *giggles* Viktor is just so adorable. I just _love_ his accent. I mean, you know, I grew up in Nice, but I was at Hogwarts too… I wonder if Chef Malfoy knows that— 

*behind the scene director* so about Viktor Krum? 

Astoria Greengrass: yes, he's just so adorable. And he wears the best trousers in the kitchen. I mean… *coughs* PAUSE *fans self* he's very attractive. 

*behind the scene director* Do you think he has any chance in beating you? 

Astoria Greengrass: OF COURSE NOT. I WILL CRUSH HIM LIKE THE SMALL INSECT THAT HE IS. NO ONE WILL GET IN MY WAY. 

*silence*

*clears throat* I'm sure we will learn a lot from each other but in the end, it's the best chef who can teach us how to be better. And for me the winner will be whoever is under Chef Draco. 

-

The first day was a disaster. Everyone was supposed to make something they love or what home meant to them. For Neville, home was always the greenhouse so he tried to make a simple salad. But, his knife cuts on the tomatoes were all wrong, he used too many onions, and the vinaigrette dressing was too salty yet not acidic enough. Chef Draco— it's really what he's supposed to call stupid Malfoy — was too harsh on him, he thought and he was right because Chef Harry was nothing but compliments. He liked the colour combination of Neville's salad, and how it sang SPRING, and how it wasn't something that almost killed him today. 

Chef Draco glared at Chef Harry for a good minute as the cameras rolled but they both didn't seem to move or care about being recorded. 

Neville wondered if by the end of five weeks that they were to be together, if Malfoy and Harry were gonna kill each other or shag each other in front of the cameras.

***************************

After everyone presented their culinary skills, which both Chef Draco and Chef Harry said were even worse than they'd imagined, it was time to pick teams.

According to Neville, Astoria hadn't missed any opportunity to flirt with Chef Draco which seemed to annoy everyone participating in the competition, especially, Chef Harry. She was the first one picked for Team Harry - also known as The Rocking Reds. Chef's Draco's team was representative of the colour green, so they were called The Gorgeous Greens and he picked Oliver Wood. 

Chef Harry looked annoyed but he did a good job mostly hiding it, according to Neville, and he ended up picking Neville next. When Neville walked up to Chef Harry, Harry gave him a hug and put on his red apron himself. Neville thought the air in the room had shifted but wondered if it was his own anxiety. 

Chef Draco picked Hooch to be on his team along with Krum, Marietta, and Lockhart. Chef Harry's team besides Astoria and Neville included: Fleur, Luna, and Seamus. 

For their first challenge, they had to make Italian food. 

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Oliver Wood: I never thought pasta would be so hard to make. I thought pasta came from a box and just put it in the hot water and then BOOM it's cooked. You put a little sauce on it and then magic it to be warm. I mean, no wonder Percy never wanted to come over for pasta night — but I think I'm doing not bad at all according to Chef Draco. He seems to be calling me a Gorgeous Green. 

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Viktor Krum: It's clear that Chef Draco wants in Wood's pants. 

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Hooch: I think Oliver and I make a good team. We're learning to knead the dough together, it's those QUIDDITCH hands you need! If you can beat a Quaffle you can knead the dough. 

*behind the scene director* what do you think of Oliver and Chef Draco? 

Hooch: Oh, it's evident they're shagging. I mean, if they aren't yet, they will be — poor Percy. He never was good at spotting a Seeker. But they're not my students anymore so it's not my business. I'm more interested in mincing the garlic and making my tomato sauce. 

Marietta Edgecombe: I don't think Chef Draco even knows I'm on the team. I mean, I did everything as expected but he only flirted with Oliver and glared at Chef Harry. Where's my moment to shine? I was very good at following directions, thank you very much. You know, maybe I wasn't the best at judgement but I think I did pretty well. Sometimes hot water is needed to soften you up a bit and then you realise the mistakes you've made and yet, even when you're no longer the thing you once were… you can still be something beautiful. I mean… delicious. 

*behind the scene director* are you still talking about cooking pasta?

***************************

At the end of sixty minutes everyone's dishes were on the table with little markers and neither Chef Draco, nor Chef Harry knew who had cooked what. The main judge for the event was Ron Weasley who tasted, well — he was only supposed to taste but he ate MOST of the dishes and ranked them high to low.

By the end of the first exercise, the cook eliminated from Harry's team was Seamus (since he'd literally burned every single thing on the plate) and Madam Hooch (who really just went around criticising everyone's form and didn't put the cheese in the sauce.) 

It was finally time to go home! Or well, the hotel room. 

Since it'd been an exhausting day, Neville grabbed his things and headed to the hotel where he was supposed to check in. It turned out that the hotel had overbooked. 

"of course," he said to himself as the front desk clerk informed him of the information. 

"I know you're here on special reservation, and we do have a room, but you'll have to share." 

"With whom?" asked Neville. 

"Harry Potter. We have already informed the guest of this scheduling disaster—" 

"But wouldn't that be against the rules?" Neville asked and he stormed off away from the front desk in search of the filming crew. He found Blaise sitting across from Chef Draco, looking as though he were consoling him. 

"Blaise, can I talk to you?" 

"Yes, Nevvy, of course—" 

"Please don't call me that. Not right now!" 

"What's the matter, Nevvy—I mean Mr Longbottom?" 

"I'm being told there aren't enough rooms and that I have to room with—" 

"yes, I know," said Blaise. "Some of us have to room with others too. I'm with Draco." 

"But... " Neville sighed. "Isn't it a little unfair that I'm with Harry? I mean isn't that conflict of interest? I mean he's my coach on the show. But if you think—" 

"What, you're with Harry?" Blaise asked, sounding horrified. 

"Potter?" Chef Draco asked, sounding annoyed. "You mean Saint Potter doesn't have his own room? Blaise you'd told me—" 

"I did have my own room but since I discovered many participants and crew have to share so I volunteered to give my one bed for a two. Ron and Hermione are in my room so I offered to share with Neville because we're good friends. I mean, we can't share my room as there's only one bed." 

"But you can't stay with a participant, Potter!" Blaise said, sounding annoyed. "And I thought Ginny already spoke with you—" 

"That isn't what's important right now. I know what Ginny told me and I've taken it under advisement," said Harry. 

"Under _advisement_?" Blaise said, sounding angry. 

If Neville didn't know any better, he would have thought Blaise was jealous. But, was he? Surely there was nothing going on between him and Harry and nothing ever wood. And Neville thought he was doing well in finding a way with Blaise—whatever that meant. But if Harry wanted to shag Neville, it only meant Neville would have to quit the show. 

"I'll share the room with Neville," said Blaise. "Potter, you're with Draco." 

"What?" both Chef Harry and Chef Draco said at the same time. "There's only one bed." 

Blaise chuckled, low, and if that wasn't just the sexiest thing Neville had ever heard. "You're using the room with two beds, my friends," he added with a wink. "But it's good to know you both thought about the one bed… which I will be taking with Neville." 

"You can't sleep with Neville, you're the producer," Harry said. 

"We're sharing a room. I'm only helping a fellow participant out, right? I don't know what's on the menu for tomorrow or next week or — I'm in charge of post production. It isn't unethical. But you sharing a room with a participant is." 

"what about sharing a room with my competition?" Malfoy asked. 

"Well, that's just up to you and not me, dear. Let's go, Nevvy." Blaise grabbed Neville's bags and headed to the front desk to check them in.

***************************

Neville walked into the luxurious hotel room with Blaise and was almost left speechless.

"I told you it'd be worth coming on the show," said Blaise. 

"Yeah. It's brilliant." 

"Do you want to take a shower?" 

"Oh yes. I'm so filthy… but… if you want to go first…" 

"We could take a shower together?" 

At Blaise's words, Neville was speechless again. "Why do I feel like I'm about to be caught in a Devil's Snare?" 

Blaise smiled and he closed the door behind them. He took Neville's things into the room and placed them in front of the wardrobe. 

"It's just a shower. I could give you a massage as the hot water soothes your body. No funny business, I promise." 

"Except that we'll both be naked." Neville wasn't sure if Blaise believe Neville was stupid. 

Blaise chuckled. "I can control myself. Besides, I told Ginny I'd have a talk with her before I shagged anyone so tonight's not your night." 

"Not my night?" Neville asked, feeling offended. "I'm glad you and your girlfriend have decided about my fucking sex life." He rolled his eyes and started to go through his things to grab for the shower and to brush his teeth. 

"It' s not what I mean…" 

"You know," Neville snapped. Maybe it was the exhaustion of the day or maybe he was just getting bloody tired of people dictating his whole week/life lately — but if he were gonna snap, there was no time like the present. "I reckon it's obvious I am attracted to you so much so that your girlfriend's in on the joke—" 

"It's not a joke." 

"I don't care. But I am … my feelings are a person. I mean… i what i want matters okay? Maybe I wanna fuck Harry too… what are you gonna do to stop me? are you gonna Floo call your girlfriend to check if that's OK?" 

"No, Nev—" 

Neville stormed past Blaise heading towards the bathroom and to lock himself in. He didn't know what he was saying but he was just hurt. He couldn't explain it. Blaise grabbed him by the elbow and kissed him. 

Neville's resolve melted quickly because it was his crush kissing him and there was no way he wasn't going to kiss him back. 

"I'm sorry," Blaise said gently. "I wasn't trying to make fun of you or start a fight. I like you too much for that. I'm just very confused also. I thought i was happy with Ginny and I am. I don't wanna lose her but I fancy the fuck out of you and I don't know how to handle it. And every tine Harry flirts with you… it drives me mad." 

Neville smiled against Blaise's lips. "That's all you had to say if you wanted to give me that shower massage."

***************************

DAY TWO: BOOT CAMP (THREE DAYS LATER)

For three days after the first elimination, all the recruits had been practising their skills. They talked to each other about what they learnt with both chefs and had one on one sessions with their dignity coach — Hermione Granger. 

Krum was the most excited about meeting with Hermione. 

"Welcome recruits! Today's challenge is going to be working within our limits. We're only going to have five items in each basket and you have to come up with a dish idea with those items.!" 

The Chefs announced the challenged and went to their corners with their teams. It was already starting to feel lighter, and Neville knew by the end of today, they were going to be losing two more people! He hoped he wasn't one of them because it would mean he'd have to leave and go home and then he wouldn't be able to share his hotel room with Blaise. 

Even though not much had happened since their shower together the first night, Blaise was super sweet and attentive to Neville. He slept holding Neville in his arms, and even when he Floo called Ginny, he made sure Neville was in the conversation. 

It was a little confusing for him though — Neville wasn't used to being part of a relationship where it was more than one person. He didn't know what he and Blaise meant to each other but to know that Ginny was okay with it all was super confusing. Sure, he wasn't against the idea of Ginny and Blaise, he'd never been, they were hot together but he didn't know what would happen if he left after the show was over and Blaise would return to Ginny. Was Neville just a phase? 

The recruits took notes as Chef Harry showed them how to make something delicious with flour, chicken breast, pesto sauce, almonds, and bacon strips. Everyone was writing down instructions profusely and Neville was thankful that for once, he didn't have time to think about his personal life. Only to learn a new skill and a new dish. 

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Astoria Greengrass: So I know I was supposed to be paying attention to Chef Harry but I am still cross that I didn't get selected by Chef Draco's team. Besides he and Viktor seem to be getting a little close. Add in Oliver Wood, and _woot!_

_Astoria did a tumbling over gesture and tumbled over her chair._

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Gilderoy Lockhart: Chef Draco reminds me of someone inspiring! Maybe it was me from my previous life. The way he cuts the onions and sprinkles the salt… I have to say, I know I have amnesia but we must be related! He's the most magnificent! _… Me!_

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Luna Lovegood: Harry knows I am a vegetarian unless the moon cycles enters the third quadrant. That's when it's safe to know wrackspurts aren't hovering over the spices. I am mostly a raw vegan myself. I wish they adopted a more progressive method of cooking. The nargles are most displeased.

-

At the end of the round, the eliminated members were Luna (because she took a stand against cooked food and for raw veganism) and Lockheart (who mostly just stood around posing with empty plates thinking they would fill themselves).

***************************

That night when Neville returned to the hotel room, it was empty. Blaise's belongings were there but there was no Blaise for hours. Neville had thought that perhaps tonight they could get together, have a nice dinner (which he would not be cooking, thank you very much) and some wine. He really wanted to unwind from his hectic day of Chef Harry and Chef Draco at each other's throats, or when Draco seemed like he was flirting with Wood and Krum at the same time, and Neville needing to calm both Chef Harry and Astoria down. It was a wonder he was able to make an entree himself given how he was too busy babysitting everyone else on his team.

Eventually, Neville ordered in and called it a night. Maybe Blaise was with Ginny tonight. He could have left a note saying he wasn't going to be there but Neville had to remind himself Blaise wasn't his boyfriend. Blaise was nothing to him because he was Ginny's boyfriend, and Neville was just some bloke that was sharing his bed while the television show was being directed. 

He woke to cold hands roaming up his skin and Neville shivered. 

"Sorry to have kept you waiting, beautiful." Blaise's silky voice was warm and relaxing, still, Neville felt as though he was on edge. 

"I was sleeping," he said. 

"I know. I'm sorry, my dear Nevvy… I wanted to come earlier to the room." 

"What makes you think I was waiting?" 

"You weren't?" Blaise sounded disappointed. 

"Where were you?" 

"I was having a production meeting with the team and then I had to calm Potter and Draco down. They're at each other's throat with the direction of the show." 

"What's wrong with the direction of the show?" 

Blaise kissed Neville's neck and slid out of bed. "I can't discuss the show…" he said, and then he added, "I'm going to get ready for bed. Be right back."

***************************

DAY THREE: BOOT CAMP

The next time they were all on the set together, things felt _different_. 

"Hello, recruits!" Chef Harry shouted and everyone quieted down. He looked at Chef Draco with one eyebrow raised and Chef Draco rolled his eyes. This entire interaction spoke volumes. Most of the time, they looked like they were ready to kill each other live on camera, but today something was definitely out of the ordinary. 

"Today, we're going to be something a little big different. It's time to switch things up so both Potter—" 

Someone from backstage cleared their throat. Chef Draco rolled his eyes again. 

"Today, Chef Harry and I are going to switch a member of our team. Chef Harry will go first. He will select a member from my Gorgeous Greens—" 

"Wood. I'll take Wood. Oliver Wood, thanks," Chef Harry said. 

"yeah, team Harry!" Oliver stepped to the front of the room and switched his green apron for a red one. 

"Very well," Chef Draco said, looking annoyed but smiling nonetheless. "I'll see your wood," he said and the room laughed, "and I'll take—" 

"Me! Me! Please pick me!! Please. Please. Please!" Astoria jumped up and down screaming until all air had been sucked out of the room and filled with her voice. 

"What a surprise! I was going to pick you, Astoria!" 

"Yes!" Astoria hissed as she took off the red apron, threw it on the floor and walked over it. 

"Ouch," Chef Harry said in a mocking tone. "Good luck with too much acid over here. Evidently you exchanged wood for lemon, Malfoy." 

Chef Draco scowled at Chef Harry but didn't say anything. 

-

They were in the middle of their skill drill when it was announced that something new was going to happen. 

"What's going on?" Neville asked as everyone around him also seemed to be wondering. 

"Oliver, can we speak with you backstage," Chef Harry said in a serious tone and everyone stopped cooking, and chopping, and grilling while they all watched Chef Harry and Chef Draco walk backstage with Oliver Wood. 

Then minutes later, they came out with a different announcement. 

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Fleur Delacour (I forgot she was also here…): I have no idea what is happening even? stay very quiet and cook my food because I want to do well with my family but this news with Oliver seems to be very disturbing. Is he disqualified? I don't know. 

Marietta Edgecombe: It's clear that Quidditch players who practice very many fouls on the pitch must be doing something wrong in the kitchen, as well. Good riddance, Oliver Wood. I for one will not miss you. 

-

"Recruits!" The Chefs returned to the kitchen without Oliver. 

"As you may know Oliver is a very famous Quidditch player and was taking a holiday to be on the show with us while his team is still in season… but… one of his teammates was severely injured and he has to return to the pitch. For that reason we had to let Oliver go." 

There was a collective "Awwwwwwww" in the room as everyone liked Oliver and his pleasant demeanours. He wasn't the best with memory though and constantly had to be told which bowl was salt and which one was sugar. 

"So now that the Rocking Red Stars are short one player, we have to find a way to balance the playing field.. Quidditch pun intended," Chef Harry said with a wink and no one laughed. 

"Astoria…" Chef Harry started but before he could say anything, Krum interrupted. 

"No. She goes, I go!" Krum took off his apron and threw it on the floor. "I'm not going to be part of this competition without this beautiful woman by my side." 

"Oh, Viktor…" Astoria began. 

"That's not what I was…" Chef Harry said. 

"I'll leave too. We can leave together. I don't need to learn how to cook now that I don't want to marry a Malfoy." 

"What?" Chef Draco said in disbelief. "Pansy, did you know about this?" Chef Draco looked up at a far corner in the room where it looked like there was nothing but if Neville tried to pay closer attention, there was a small window. He had passed it off as an exhaust but indeed, it was just a window. 

"Sorry, Draco. Creative choices." A voice boomed across the room but there was no face to match it. 

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Marietta Edgecombe: Unbelievable! I am a graduate of Hogwarts, I have a degree in literature with a concentration in story-telling. if they wanted to write DRAMA into this show, they could have consulted ME. I was very valuable to Professor Umbridge. I know that's looked down upon but I am the reason Harry Potter survived his years at Hogwarts. 

*behind the scene director* snorts. 

Marietta Edgecombe: Who is that? I'll have you know — 

*change of camera angle* 

Fleur Delacour: It was all very sweet, actually. 

*Behind the scenes camera* SHOT. 

Neville Longbottom: They were sleeping together? I had no idea. I knew some members of crew or participants were sharing a room with double beds but I didn't know Astoria and Krum were in the same room. I mean they'd been flirting since they got here. And I saw them at the hotel pool— oh — yeah okay. I'm the idiot.

***************************

The show ended faster than anyone had anticipated. After Astoria and Viktor professed their love to each other on camera, there were only three participants left.

Instead of being on competitive teams, Chef Harry and Draco came up with menus and dishes for Fleur, Neville, and Marietta to attempt every day. They were rushing the grand finale where a group of judges were going to do a blind taste test and vote for the winner. 

It was very different to see both Harry and Malfoy team up. What seemed like animosity in the beginning quickly turned to heavy flirting and though Harry was better at complimenting Draco on his cooking style, Draco seemed to only have less and less insults for Harry. 

-

LAST DAY: BOOT CAMP. | DAY OF FINAL EVENT

Fleur and Mariette were busy designing their desserts when Neville thought about taking a break and heading to the toilets. Thankfully, the camera crew didn't follow him when he needed to go to the loo. As he rounded the corner and opened the door to the mens' toilets, he was frozen still with the shock of what he came across. (Came to a halt? Was startled by what he involuntarily witnessed?) 

Maybe they didn't expect anyone to use the loos while everyone was busy preparing the final dishes, or maybe, they were just so in the moment they didn't realise they could have got caught — but Neville's eyes widened and his gaze instantly drifted to Harry's hand wrapped around Draco's cock and they both were snogging against the toilet stall door. They really should have taken an extra ten seconds to lock themselves inside, thought Neville. 

Draco's hands were tangled in Harry's hair as he pulled on Harry's lock, moaning and groaning and thrusting into Harry's hand. 

"Right. Okay…" Neville mumbled to himself and walked out of the bathroom, wondering if he could simply use the women's toilet and no one would be the wiser. Hopefully Parkinson wouldn't be in there going down on one of the female camera crew members. 

-

"hey, is everything okay?" 

Blaise pulled Neville to the side and asked him after they were done with their practice run of making desserts. 

"Yes. Why?" 

"You seem a little off… usually you've been picking up the instructions fast and I thought you had this but…" 

Blaise was right. Neville had been concentrating on his cooking a lot these past few weeks and was happy every time he was criticised less than his colleagues in the challenge. But today, he was just confused. Seeing Harry and Draco in the toilet had really thrown him off. He thought they'd hated each other, and maybe in a way, watching them snogging made him feel like he wasn't going to find the person who would treat him the same way. 

"You're amazing. you know that right?" Blaise kissed Neville's neck and then looked at him and smiled. "You're unbelievably sexy. i want you to cook for me like that all the time." 

"What about Ginny?" Neville asked again. He simply could not wrap his mind around how wrong it was for him to want Blaise and for Blaise to flirt and kiss and shower with him while he was supposed to be committed with Ginny. 

Blaise's face sobered and his demeanour changed. He nodded once. "You're right. Concentrate on the competition. And when it's over, we'll have a talk. You and me and Ginny. I want you know to know that this is totally OK with her. It's totally OK with me. It's you… i mean… sorry it's not you. I want you to be okay with it too. This is a different kind of love and I want us to have it. I think — what I mean is you fancy me, right? You want me — to do things and go places." 

Neville smiled. He could feel his face burning. He nodded once. "I do want you. I want to go to places with you and do things. But you're with Ginny and I don't want to break that up. I don't want to take you away from her and I know I can't. I don't want to be hurt... " 

"But what if I'm with Ginny and I'm happy. What if I come to see you too? And what if Ginny's OK with that? And what if some day we all live together in the same house? I mean, I don't think you want to be with Ginny—" 

"No. Not like that. I'm not… I'm gay." 

Blaise smirked and kissed the corner of Neville's mouth. "So we'll talk and as long as you and me can be what we are and you're okay with me and Ginny… maybe there's no jealousy because there's no need. Maybe we could work?" 

Neville shrugged. "I don't know. We haven't even started dating yet." 

Blaise laughed, low and sexy, in the way that made Neville's knees weak — "Good. Then get in there and learn to make some sexy food so you can win me and Ginny over for date nights." Blaise winked and kissed Neville on the cheek before he left.

***************************

In the blind taste test, the winner of worst to best cook in the wizarding world - WWC CHAMPION SERIES ONE - went to Marietta Edgecombe.

Fleur was annoyed because she had kept forgetting that Marietta was even in the challenge. Still, she claimed to have learnt very many things to take home to her husband and his family. Ron Weasley was the most excited to try her cooking. (And earned a slap on the back of his head by Hermione, quite rightly.) 

Neville didn't mind the fact that he didn't win. He didn't enter the show to win the competition. He wanted to win Blaise's heart and he was victorious of a beautiful and open relationship that would make him happy for a lifetime. 

Chef Draco and Chef Harry signed on for another season of WWC. 

They still fought a lot on camera. 

THE END


End file.
